How The Stoics Dealt with Criticism and Praise
Stoicism is a philosophy which deals with the inner world.
The Stoics believed the coveted state of eudaemonia could be acquired through mastering this inner abyss of emotions and thoughts.
Nothing draws out primordial emotions like praise and criticism, especially when it comes from the crowd.
How shall we deal with these impulses? How did the mighty Stoics deal with praise? How did they reconcile with negative criticism?
These questions will be answered in this article.
Marcus Aurelius On Criticism
“When another blames you or hates you, or people voice similar criticisms, go to their souls, penetrate inside and see what sort of people they are. You will realize that there is no need to be racked with anxiety that they should hold any particular opinion about you.”
– Marcus Aurelius
Often the people who hate on others are projecting.
They have not dealt with their shadow, have low self-awareness and gain energy from putting others down.
Marcus asks we ‘penetrate’ their souls to see what might cause someone to act from negativity.
If we follow his advice, we will see the haters are hurting inside.
A lack of self-love makes one feel the need criticize others to feel better.
If you cannot have the tallest sandcastle the easiest solution is to knock the other ones down.
The opinions of people like this have nothing to do with you.
Stoics believed in following reason and reason permits you disregard the opinion of lunatics.
It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.” – Marcus Aurelius
If you had a choice between saving your life or the life of a random person you don’t know.
You would save your life.
You value your life over the life of most people – evolution made you this way.
Yet, you don’t value your opinion over the opinion of others.
Your opinion is but a derivative of your self-love.
Somewhere along the line there was a glitch which made you disregard what you truly wanted.
Many people have dreams and aspirations which lie dormant because of fear.
They fear what others will think of them if they were to marry the person they love.
They fear their parents judgement if they were to start a business.
They care more about what strangers think of them than what they think of themselves.
This is great folly according to Marcus.
You must learn to disregard the opinion of others.
This doesn’t mean to become rude or petulant.
Marcus believed in people working together he even mentioned it in his morning meditation,
“We were born to work together like feet, hands and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural.”
The opinion to disregard is one which does not hurt others.
Your career choice being different to the one your parents desired does not hurt others.
Dressing however you like to dress (despite it not being in ‘style’) does not hurt others.
Marcus Aurelius on Praise
What then is to be valued? The clapping of hands? No. Nor should we value the clapping of tongues, for that is the praise of the masses”.
-Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 6.16.2
According to Marcus, praise is not worthy of being valued because it is fickle.
What the masses enjoy and praise today will become the horrors of tomorrow as the Overton Window shifts.
The music which was praised in the 80s is a parody for those growing up in the 2020s.
The movies which captured the imagination of millions in the 70s is unbearable to watch for those who grew up watching The Avengers.
Public opinion is always shifting.
It is not prudent to anchor your self-worth to something which is transient.
Or is it this thing called reputation that worries you? Look at the speed with which everything is forgotten; the vast gulf of boundless time on either side of us; the emptiness of applause; the changeable, undiscriminating nature of those who seem to praise; the tiny space in which it all takes place.”
-Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 4.3
When you contemplate eternity, you will see how the opinions of others including their praise is truly meaningless.
Learning to draw state from within yourself should be your chief aim as a Stoic.
This means not being afraid to chase your dreams despite the praise and criticism of others.
It also means learning to fall in love with the process and not the result.
Seneca on Criticism
The great and noble are those who, like a lordly beast, listen unmoved to the barking of little dogs.”
– Seneca
When you walk through your neighborhood you will undoubtedly come across a dog which doesn’t like you.
A dog that barks whenever you walk past it’s owners house.
Does this bother you?
If you take the whole thing personally it would.
If you look at it from a higher perspective and realize the dog is just doing what a dogs meant to do – you will be ‘unmoved’.
The dog is following it’s nature and there is nothing wrong with that.
Dogs will bark, birds will poo on your car, and all of this is normal.
There are great differences between humans.
The spectrum covers a wide range of personalities, some kind others mean.
Some humans are intelligent others are still working on it.
Some humans will love you; others will hate everything about you including your haircut.
This is normal and in accordance with nature.
Why then would you allow yourself to get bothered by those who don’t like you, and provide negative criticism?
You are unmoved by the barking of a dog but care about the barking of a human?
Seneca asks you to behave more like a lordly beast.
Imagine yourself as a mighty Sphinx prancing around a savannah getting barked at by little stray dogs.
A majestic beast would not care, might even eat the dogs for dessert.
Use this mental visionary whenever you catch yourself being put down by negative criticism.
Seneca on Praise
Lay these words to heart, Lucilius, that you may scorn the pleasure which comes from the applause of the majority. Many men praise you; but have you any reason for being pleased with yourself, if you are a person whom the many can understand? Your good qualities should face inwards.”
– Seneca
In his letters to Lucilius Seneca explains his suspicion of wide praise.
Naturally the masses are drawn to the more superficial forms of entertainment, music and food.
Things which have widespread appeal tend to be of a lower quality.
McDonalds is the most popular fast-food restaurant and yet is hardly the best place to eat on any measure.
Coke is one of the most widespread drinks on the planet but is basically sugar water.
Often the hottest song on Spotify, the one being streamed by millions will be forgotten next month and replaced with something else.
What appeals to the majority tends to be fast, dopamine inducing content which is easily digestible.
Even though many of these things did not exist during Seneca’s time, people still had their cheap vices.
People would watch other humans get ripped apart by lions in gladiatorial games for fun.
If these types of people are fond of your character than clearly you resonate with them on some level.
If you resonate with the majority, you might have reason to question your character.
Seneca encourages you to not worry about the opinion and praise of others but to face inwards into your own soul.
Epictetus on Criticism
If anyone tells you that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make excuses about what is said of you but answer, “He was ignorant of my other faults, else he would not have mentioned these alone.”
– Epictetus
We have all been in a position where we heard a rumor that someone, we liked was speaking negatively about us.
These situations always come as a shock to us.
How could they say these things about me?
At the same time, we do not hesitate to speak critically of other people.
The disconnect is caused by our ego.
This sense of self which we need to protect.
The ego feels good when it is criticizing others because it’s covertly gaining a sense of importance.
“They are bad which means I am good” is the hidden meaning behind criticism.
When someone speaks ill of us it’s a direct attack on our ego which must be defended at all costs.
Hence why we get so upset.
Epictetus is encouraging us to drop our egos.
Disregard the masquerade and look at ourselves as a human being with faults.
Looking at yourself this way takes a courage which most people don’t have.
When your faults the criticism of others does not affect you.
If it is just criticism, it gives you something to work on.
If it doesn’t apply to you, it won’t hurt you because you would have done a full evaluation of your character already.
What is clearly untrue can be disregarded with no qualms.
You won’t even be angry at the offender because you will realize they are a imperfect human being just like you.
Epictetus of Praise
Even as the Sun doth not wait for prayers and incantations to rise, but shines forth and is welcomed by all: so thou also wait not for clapping of hands and shouts and praise to do thy duty; nay, do good of thine own accord, and thou wilt be loved like the Sun.”
– Epictetus
The sun does not need your praise or prayers to shine radiantly and supply the world with life-giving light.
You too should not act with the intention of receiving applause.
Do what you know to be good for its own sake.
Be a good person because it’s the right thing to do.
Not document what you do on Instagram or TikTok, don’t do it expecting to receive something on the backend.
Acting this way will allow you to be loved like the Sun.
This is a spiritual law which is consistent in many spheres of knowledge.
The 2400-year-old Chinese book of the ‘Way’ The Tao De Ching says in chapter 2,
Therefore, the sages: …create but do not possess. They act but do not presume. They succeed but do not dwell on success. It is because they do not dwell on success. That it never goes away”
In the bible Jesus says,
But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
Many spiritual texts come to the same conclusion.
You should act properly without expecting praise.
Your praise is the inner knowing you are living in accordance with your personal values.
This is something no one can take away from you.
Do this and you will be on step closer to living and dying well.